Every professional bartender has a few bottles they don’t like. In most cases, the level of disdain never goes much further than some level of “meh.” It’s not that the liquid is objectively bad; it is just not for them. But there’s usually one bottle that functions as something of a nemesis, and seeing it on a trusted establishment’s back bar or a good friend’s bar cart is enough to burrow under their skin — and heaven help the well-meaning soul who presents it as a gift.
It could be dated liqueur, a celebrity-backed spirit in a clunky vessel, or a too-sweet substitute for an ingredient best made fresh. Whatever the reason, when a bottle achieves nemesis status, the only satisfying solution would seemingly be to make it permanently vanish. With that in mind, we asked 10 bartenders to name the bottles they wish would go away for good.
“Although I’m opposed to making the world of mixology inaccessible and unwelcoming, if I had to make one bottle disappear it would be pre-made sour mix. No craft cocktail bar should ever use it. [For home bartenders], using the same mix in a Margarita, Whiskey Sour, and Tom Collins will result in subpar drinks that taste overwhelmingly similar. [Instead], I highly recommend squeezing fresh citrus and combining it with simple syrup to make a sour mix that’s tailored to their preference.” —Sarah Kornegay, bar supervisor, Katharine Brasserie & Bar, Winston-Salem, N.C.
“I would love to say au revoir to the hand-grenade bottle shape. It’s squatty and cumbersome. I loathe to pour from one, I despise calculating their inventory, and I pity the person that tries to fit in a well. The most comfortable way to empty its contents is with two hands. Nothing says ‘professional mixologist’ like making someone a drink and pausing to pour from a bulbous canteen like a toddler pouring juice. During the holidays, it looks like an ornament, so at least there’s that.” —Josh Gandee, host, No Proof podcast
“Not all celebrity tequilas deserve to be behind the bar. Some of these bottles ignore traditional methods of production, resulting in poor-quality spirits full of vegetable glycerin, sugar, caramel coloring, and artificial vanilla flavoring. Instead, support Mexican-owned, additive-free tequila brands who use centuries-old production methods and focus on environmental sustainability.” —Cecelia Crook, bartender, Merchant & Trade, Charlotte, N.C.
“A coworker recently remarked on how someone ordered an Aviation, but we were out of crème de violette. My immediate reaction was to jokingly suggest that he ‘sub it with hand soap.’ Why are we as bartenders obligated to carry one bottle of a product that you only use a quarter-ounce of, for a drink that gets called maybe six times a year? A drink, by the way, that either tastes like a trip to Bed Bath & Beyond, or in the best case — with addition of simple syrup — a SweeTart melted in a bowl of potpourri.” —Jeff White, lead bartender, Experimental Cocktail Club, NYC
“I wish that black or opaque bottles would disappear from the back bar — sorry Hendrick’s! Doing inventory with them is absolutely impossible. You can’t see how much liquid is inside, which makes it hard to gauge stock levels at a glance. This means I have to stop and unscrew the cap, shake the bottle, or hold it up to the light to get even a rough idea of how much is left. It slows everything down.” —Alex Jump, founder, Focus on Health
“I’d love to see the end of artificially flavored vodkas. Especially in cocktail bars and lounges, as it diminishes the quality of the drinks. Plus, it just isn’t a great look. When you have access to natural ingredients, farmers markets, and local vendors, there’s no need to rely on the artificial stuff. Vodkas infused in-house [with real ingredients] demonstrate a bar team’s creativity, and they offer a unique blend to a cocktail’s flavor palate.” —Mike Lam, head mixologist, The Bar Downstairs and Kitchen, NYC
“The bottles I would like to see removed from the back bars are primarily unaged molasses rums from commercial rum brands that are artificially colored with caramel and flavored with vanillin. In my view, this approach misleads consumers into believing these products have developed quality, color, and taste through contact with wood.” —Benoit Provost, bar director, The American Bar at The Stafford, London
“For me, it is blue Curaçao. This liqueur mainly serves as a colorant rather than a high-quality ingredient. Though it has its place in fun, tropical-themed cocktails, it is sometimes associated with overly sweet, artificial-tasting drinks that can mask the flavors of other ingredients.” —Atef Daood, bartender, ENTYSE, Mclean, Va.
“While I am all for a bottle that stands out on a shelf, I wish we could stop seeing bottles that seem to be specifically designed to be the least functional thing to pour from. If I’m in a rush or even just trying to connect with a guest, nothing breaks that concentration like trying to do a 2-ounce pour out of something that requires two hands and a degree in engineering to accurately serve out of.” —Colin Williams, bar manager, Saffron, New Orleans
“If there’s one bottle I wish would disappear from the back bar, it’s Drambuie. It’s mainly used for the Rusty Nail, a cocktail that’s rarely ordered these days. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time someone asked for it. Drambuie just takes up space, it’s not cheap [to carry], and most people don’t even know what it is. There are so many other liqueurs and spirits I’d rather experiment with that are more relevant to what people want today. I’m all for honoring classic cocktails, but when a bottle hardly moves and newer, more exciting ingredients are in demand, it’s time to rethink.” —Tobias Burkhalter, assistant general manager, FIRE Restaurant & Lounge, Denver
The article We Asked 10 Bartenders: Which Bottle Should Disappear From Back Bars and Bar Carts Forever? (2024) appeared first on VinePair.
